Fight for Your Life

wattsworth:

animalstalkinginallcaps:

MORNING, BILL. SIT DOWN. NO, STAND UP SO I CAN KNOCK YOU ON YOUR ASS WITH THIS. I’M KIDDING, SIT DOWN. ANYHOW, YOU KNOW HOW YOU WERE ASKING IF WE COULD DO SOMETHING LIKE THE OLD TWILIGHT ZONE EPISODES? “BREAK OUR DEPENDENCE ON BANAL AND ALMOST INSULTINGLY VAPID REALITY TV AND PUT THE FOCUS BACK ON STORYTELLING” I THINK YOU SAID? WELL GUESS WHAT?

WISH GRANTED, BILLY BOY. TALKED TO MARTY UPSTAIRS AND IT TURNS OUT WE ALREADY OWN ALL THE RIGHTS. WE’VE GOT THE GREENLIGHT FOR TWILIGHT ZONE. IT’S GOING TO BE AMAZING. NATURALLY, WE HAD TO UPDATE IT FOR A MODERN AUDIENCE SO IT’S GOING TO BE CALLED TIT WAR AND IT FOLLOWS A TEAM OF BIKINI-CLAD ASSASSINS IN A POST-APOCALYPTIC WASTELAND AS THEY ATTEMPT TO OPEN UP A CAR WASH AND ALSO DEFEAT ROVING HORDES OF ZOMBIES, BUT OTHER THAN THAT IT’S PRACTICALLY IDENTICAL TO THE ORIGINAL SERIES. CODY BAY, MICHAEL’S KID, IS GOING TO DIRECT, AND WE’VE ALREADY CAST JIMMY VAN DER BEEK TO DO THE INTROS, BUT OTHER THAN THAT IT’S ALL YOU, BILL. 

CLEAR YOUR CALENDAR. THIS IS YOUR BABY NOW. YOU’RE ONE OF THE BEST PRODUCERS WE’VE GOT. I KNOW YOU CAN KNOCK THIS OUT OF THE PARK. 

SHHHHHH. STOP CRYING. NO NEED TO THANK ME, JUST DON’T LET ME DOWN.

oh my god this is the best one

oh god i’m dying hahaha